Next Steps and Guiding

Whew! What intense, but God filled, several weeks following my last blog!!! And what crazy intense weeks since then too!!  Thank you all for praying during my most recent ordeal! I would like to share with you a bit of what the Lord has been doing. Some are aware of all that has happened, while others may not know all that has happened. There is a lot to share, so I will try to share as much as I can as clearly and succinctly as possible.

Last I wrote, I was heading to PR for my friend's funeral. The trip was sweet, memorable and in some ways also difficult, as is understandable. I was very blessed to spend the week with Luan, Edan and Diego. What dear friends and what fun we had! It was bitter-sweet to recall with joy many memories of my friend Edwin and share about how much we loved him and things he would say or do if he was with us.  I still pray regularly for them and I am in somewhat regular contact with them even as I am back.  Please continue praying for them.

On the day before I was to leave PR and go to FL, I spent 1 hr at the beach at what was the hottest time of the day.  I enjoyed the beach and went back to the house with Luan for a fun afternoon with the boys.  It was fun, but oh, did I fry!  I looked like a lobster!!!  That night, I got up in the middle of the night and ended up fainting and falling on the bathroom floor.  I woke up in a pool of blood and called Luan to help me.  I had a couple of ambulance rides and spent about 36 hrs hospitalized.  After many exams, all of them yielding normal results, I was released from the hospital.  It was good to know that all serious matters (such as heart attack, stroke and seizure) had been ruled out, which effectively only left either heatstroke/dehydration or blood sugar as the possible reasons.  Because my blood sugar was normal when I woke up from the fainting spell, it is most likely to have been dehydration.  After all the ordeal, my flight to Florida was delayed by two days and I was scheduled to arrive the night before the missions conference.

With little sleep and still dazed, I drove to Merritt Island the next day and was super blessed at the conference.  The whirlwid was worth it!!  At the moment, there were several blessed instances where I felt the Lord confirming things to my heart and blessing me with direction and encouragement, although I would need to pray and dwell on them more to be certain.  I was also blessed to make connections and new friends that are like-minded.  I was even hosted by a wonderful missionary family that had been in Belize previously and will be moving to Italy in the summer. We were able to share experiences and fellowship sweetly during the time we had.  I so look forward to meeting with them again. 

So a bit of time has gone by as I have been praying and planning and seeking ... and the direction that I thought I was going in is changing, yet again!  It definitely seems to be the story of my life right now.  I am confident that the Lord is guiding me, although a lot of questions seem to take over more than answers.  Every time I take a step of faith, some clarity comes, which is very encouraging.  That clarity is sometimes in the form of a closed door and other times it is in the form of an open door, new opportunity and new connections.  I am thankful the direction isn't just in circumstances, but also in prayer and through the Word.

¹⁷ that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, ¹⁸ the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,
Ephesians 1:17-18

These verses really ministered to me in the beautiful progression that they show.  This progression is not coincidental, it is sequential.  The first thing we need is the spirit of wisdom and revelation, but the knowledge that we need is of Him and not of things.  As we have knowledge of Him, our eyes our enlightened and we are able to know and understand His calling.  I love that it is described as the "hope of His calling".  It is something to hope for, to aspire, to long for.  Finally, we are able to know what will be our inheritance, His inheritance described as riches of glory!!!  I am comforted that the Lord Jesus is granting me knowledge of Him and He will cause me to understand His calling!!!  Isn't that an awesome promise to us?!?!?!  Does that excite you as much as it excites me!?!?!  It should! :)  His plans and calling for each one of us are unique, but they are perfectly designed for each of us, they are "tailor made" by our Heavenly Father.  Don't you want to learn and fulfill His purpose for you?  I certainly do!

On the Sunday that I was in PR, I went with my friend to a ladies retreat. I had never met the lady that was ministering there. After the teaching, during a time of prayer, she came to me and spoke to my heart a very specific Word from the Lord that she had no way of knowing other than through the Spirit. The message was prophetic and included comfort and also direction. She shared that doors had been closed, but that I could be comforted that the enemy wasn't closing the doors, but He had closed the doors and He was opening a door to me to Asia.  At that time, Asia was a far thought in my mind.  I do have contacts there. I know dear friends in China that are like-minded and dear to me.  I also had met Pastor Ted, a dear friend of my pastor Ray, who is a point of contact with my friends, and at a previous time had visited my home church in CC Webster.  In spite of knowing them, I didn't really feel like that was a place where I would go to soon.  When I heard this, I set it in my heart and waited for further clarity from the Lord and to see how the matter would turn out.  I was not ready to just jump at a prophesy without the Lord continuing to confirm that He was calling me directly.

When I was in Florida at the conference, the Lord established some dear connections and provided further direction. I was able to meet up with Ted and establish connections and talk about possible future opportunities for joint service.  We left matters as we would continue to pray over the options and seek the will of the Lord.

During my remaining time in Florida, I was able to visit with Margie, Beka and her kids, play a lot of Angry Birds, hang out at the pool and recuperate from my hospital ordeal.  What fun time too!!

Before going on the trips, the Lord has made clear to my heart through many scriptures, emails, doors and conversations that my plans to go to Mexico in the summer is encountering a closed door for that time.  Since I have been back from the trips, it has become evident that another door is being opened to go to China during that time instead. In my mind, going to China would be something I would do only after having more "experience" under my belt as a missionary, yet, the Lord is seeing fit to orchestrate that as the first trip on my leave of absence. How exciting and how terrifying at the same time!!  What this all means is yet to be discovered and I am open to the Lord's direction and further adjusting, should this not be the time, although I believe it is.  Stay tuned for the upcoming plans!!! :D

Three months ago today, I read this as part of my devotions:
Woe be to the soul who tries to put his foot in any other direction when once that call has come to him. This College exists for you, and you – to see whether God has a man or woman here who cares about proclaiming His Gospel; to see whether God grips you. And beware of competitors when God does grip you.
-Oswald Chambers, from Utmost Feb 2

I know I am not attending the same college that Oswald was at when he spoke those words, but it still rings true of the circumstances that we are in.  We are to explore whether God is gripping our heart to proclaim His Gospel, to share the good news of salvation that Christ died for our sins and rose again!!!  And we must beware of anything or anyone competing with Him!