This is a question I have been mulling over for the past several weeks. I am sure that it will take a lifetime to learn the answer. I can answer it with "unmerited favor from God", but I feel like this answer is no more accurate and precise than answering "what is a derivative?" with "a mathematical formula", or "what is a car?" with "a machine to take me places". I am barely scratching the surface and I don't really understand it.
As I look at my life and what is going on, I feel myself asking the Lord as when Keilah (not quite 3) comes up to me and asks in her sweet high pitched voice "what'cha doooin?" followed by a myriad of "whyyyy?" to every statement after the first answer.
The first attempt at selling the house fell through. I had another potential buyer interested that appeared in what seemed to be a miraculous way, but it also fell through as he was dramatically low-balling me. It has become so discouraging that I am not sure what I should do next. Try another realtor? Try for sale by owner and cragislist? When to re-list? I am going to Mexico in 6 days and I don't want people calling and emailing when I can't reply, so I had taken the for sale sign down. I just got rear-ended in my car and didn't notice the damage so barely got info from the other driver and now I am needing to go to the chiropractor for my neck and back and I need to figure out what to do next regarding the damage I noticed later.
My closest friend and her husband have just 2 weeks ago moved to Bulgaria led by the Lord. In many events leading up to their departure I could see the hand of the Lord in favor toward them and myself. They had planned to leave the day before my birthday and as the day approached and I struggled with the timing of it, I felt the Lord speak to my heart saying "Can you believe I can make it special?". We had unexpected changes of plans that resulted in us celebrating my birthday in NY City the day after their original departure date. The Lord poured out grace upon grace as we dealt with unexpected events and a bonus birthday week for me of fellowship together to treasure as we are far away from each other!!!
Do I know what He is doing? Do I understand grace? Not really, not yet, not deeply. I can honestly say that I don't know what the Lord is doing, but I am learning to trust in Him with my little understanding of Grace, believing and knowing that what He is doing is good ... that the outcome of what He is doing will be good ... that I can be hopeful and excited because He plans nothing but good!
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