Time out!

I suddenly feel like time out was called and all the activity has stopped!  I was sick last week and quite sick through the weekend.  I was thankful that nothing was happening at my house other than me resting.  In the meantime, the realtor met with the couple I blogged about last time and they are worried about the Super Walmart that is in debate to be constructed close to my house.  So ... after all the turmoil and activity ... well, nothing is happening right now ...

I am trusting that He is in control of it all.  My heart needs to rest in it too.

Trying to stay calm ... not that easy!!!!!!!

Wow! Between the last blog entry and this one so much has happened!!  I have been super busy at home.  For a variety of reasons and with a miriad of logistic craziness, I have swapped out fridge and stove, cleaned out the basement and a lot of the garage, cleaned out my bathroom from an extra rack, patched a wall, bought mums for the front of the house, had the bushes trimmed and even had one dead bush removed ... as if that isn't enough, many small things too.  The Lord has helped me with time management and also sending physical help when I have needed it.  Thanks to all of you who have been helped, you have been a huge blessing!!!!  Below is the photo of the listing.

I am having more action on my house than I had before!  My realtor even told me that of all her listings, mine is the one that is getting the most calls!!!! 

The house went on the market last Thursday (yes, only 1 week ago).  I had 1 showing last Friday and 1 on Saturday.  I had 3 showings on Tuesday and I have 2 more Thursday (today) along with a "broker's caravan" preview where all the brokers from the firm visit a series of houses they mutually are listing so that they know what options are available for their customers within the firm.  One couple that came last Friday seemed interested and their realtor called back saying that they might put in an offer. 

Today, I got a call from my realtor after our first showing this morning.  It was a very interesting showing to put it mildly!!!!  The couple called my realtor yesterday asking to see the house.  They are believers and introduced themselves as Christians outright on the call.  They said they weren't planning on moving right now, but felt the Lord directed them to my house.  They have a house to sell and they don't have it on the market (normally not a good sign).  They came this morning to see the house and they loved it!  They loved my realtor so much (even over the phone) that they also brought with them the papers for their house so that my realtor would be able to review them and work with them to list their house.  They are getting together on Saturday to draft an offer for mine and list theirs!!!  As they looked at the house, they looked at the book shelves and commented that we have the same books!!!!  When my realtor told them that I was selling because I wanted to go into the mission field, the wife pretty much got teary eyed!!!

I am trying not to count my eggs before they are hatched or assume I know what God is doing ... but I am quite excited about the possibilities.  I am still praying intently about this and I am hoping and waiting on the Lord.  Of course, this waiting is not an inactive waiting ... I am busy beyond words!!!

As if that is not enough, things at work have been crazy, so my sleep has been compromised and, now with the season change, I am struggling with allergy induced asthma and potentially the beginning of a cold.  I am praying that it doesn't get worse.

As I go through all of this, I contemplate with excitement the commitment and possibilities.  There is no turning back, there is no looking back.  I am certainly waaaay past the point of no return.  Do I want to turn back?  No!!!!!  Do I get a bit scared when I think if the magnitude?  Of course!  I recently read the quote below and it is so deep and rich with meaning that it is resonating within me.

A missionary is someone who is bound by marriage

to the stated mission and purpose of his Lord and Master.

-Oswald Chambers

Time to Get Moving!!!!

Wow it has been a long time since I have posted a blog!!!  I have been longing and desiring for a long time to go into missions.  The Lord has been iterating and re-iterating His calling to my heart and I am desiring it more than ever ... but is that really enough? 

I have a friend that has the following quote as his Skype status: "Vision without action is a day dream, action without vision is a nightmare."  Not sure where that came from, but as I start to write, that phrase came to mind and I had to steal it for the blog.  I guess I find myself more in the first part, but I could easily fall into the second since I don't really know where the Lord is calling me to go long term ... but that is a different topic.

Since I have returned from Mexico, my heart has been stirred to return.  I can't say that the Lord wants me there permanently.  What I can say is that my heart is knit with people there.  I long to fellowship with them, serve along side with them and spend time seeking the Lord and exploring if that is what the Lord would have for me.  I hear news of what is happening there both physically and spiritually and I long to be part of it or be there for them.  I would love to go for at least 3 months to see what the Lord would have and if it is a viable place of service for me, or maybe it is preparatory for a different place.  I am hoping that I would be able to find my place and not feel like a visitor.  Even cute little Obed has said he misses me and he even told me he loved me over Skype!!!!  I got to talk with him and his sister Aaliyah and it is so sweet to know that they love me just from the two weeks there ... and I love them back!  Little things like that have a way of drawing the heart!!!!  They are kids of a good friend, Pastor Dan's daughter (pastor at the Ranch).  I wanted to include a photo so that you could see how cute they are. :)

I would still love to go to Bulgaria to visit my friends there in the Lord's timing and I am not sure where the Lord wants me long term.  I also have missionary friends in China that I would love to see again and they would like me to visit.  One step at a time and one place at a time ... There are many advantages to going to the Ranch in Mexico as a first place.  I won't have a language barrier (which is huge), so it will be a nice way to "get my feet wet" and seek the Lord apart from distractions.  It would be great to go for 2 weeks for vacation, but it seems insufficient.  I was sick a lot while there, so I kind of need more than 2 weeks to allow my body to adjust.  My friends tell me that I need to be a long term missionary! 

With the desire to go to Mexico and thinking of logistics, I was dreading multiple options.  I couldn't quite agree with the thoughts of leaving my guitar again, especially for a longer term as I really missed it for ministry and personal purposes, or of traveling on the bus with my guitar and risking damage or loss, or incurring the extra costs of flying into Mexico for twice the price if I were to go often.  After many thoughts and prayers, I kept coming back to the idea of getting an SUV that could handle the trip, the extra luggage and the rough roads to the Bible Studies near the Ranch.  As I thought about this more, I ended up searching for options and found an amazing deal for a 2000 Jeep Cherokee in impecable condition with 129K miles!!!  It is from out of state and a bit old, but great for service ... so, we have named it Moses (coming from a far land to move the people to where the Lord was calling them to go).  I must admit that this car is sooooo not me!!!!  The funny thing is that it is perfect for me!  It is perfect for Mexico!  It is kind of funny ha-ha that after driving it for a couple of days and going back to driving my Acura that I have driven for over 6 years now, I feel guilty because my TSX feels too luxurious!!!!  I guess the Lord is preparing my heart in many ways.  Even during the searching process and when I got it, I have received many lessons from the Lord to my heart as part of this.  It is just what never knew I needed!!!!!

I have had the house up for sale on craigslist and with a sign out front "For Sale by Owner" all summer long. I have had multiple people come and see it, some even seemed promising, but nothing has come of it.  I felt so "burned" by my last realtor experience that I felt overwhelmed at the thought of trying to pick a different one that I could trust, that would sell the house agressively and that would look out for my interest.  With my house situation, I can't really take action regarding going to the mission field, at least not long term, so going to Mexico has been a day dream.  My only possible next action is to sell the house ... this has been the next thing for the longest time ... I have been fearful and I have felt burned by my previous experience, but I must trust the Lord and not be driven by fear.

Well, today I met a new realtor ... she was amazing!  A dear friend recommended her and I have taken the the step to meet her.  I feel so comfortable with her and with all the information that she brought and shared.  Even with decisions in price that may not be what I originally wanted or hoped, yet I feel at ease.  She seems very knowledgable, experienced and with the kind of focus and ethic that makes me feel I can trust her.  Yes, it was the first meeting, and we will meet again to finalize the listing on Monday and get it on the market officially again, but I have a peace about it.  Of course, I keep praying!!!!  I have "homework" (literally) that she wants me to do to before we list, but it isn't impossible.  The reminder to be praying every step of the way is essential ... and now is no exception.  Because I had it listed it before and I had it for sale by owner for a while, it is an uphill battle, but nothing is impossible to the Lord and if it is His will, He will bring it to pass.  If this endeavor does not result in a sale, then I continue trusting His timing and guidance.

Is it time to move yet?  Well, not literally move out of the house yet, but definitely it is time to get moving forward and get everything done with all dilligence to finalize it all (or be ready to embark on a new beginning), so ... it is time to get moving!!!!

As far as the price, although I would like to be able to sell for more money, the Lord was gently reminding me of the scripture:

"As sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich;

as having nothing, and yet possessing all things."

- 2 Cor. 6:10

Please keep praying with me in all this process.  Let's look forward to what God will do!!!!!!  My prayer and my promise continues to be:

In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion ...

Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort

- Psalm 71:1,3

Inheritance to be desired

Inheritance ... I have been thinking a lot about this word lately.  I guess it is because it keeps coming up in devotions or in Bible Studies and I seem to be witnessing what seems to be an unusually larger number of people passing away (at least for my immediate circle of friends).  I guess I hadn't thought about it much until now.

According to the dictionary, Inheritance is:
a. The act of inheriting property
b. The acquisition of a possession, condition, or trait from past generations
c. The reception of genetic qualities by transmission from parent to offspring

According to the dictionary, Inherit is:
To come into possession of or receive especially as a right or divine portion (and every one who has left houses or brothers or sisters … for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life — Matthew 19:29 )

I love that it says "divine portion"!  It is particularly amazing to me that this scripture is used by the dictionary to define this word!  Do we associate inheriting with leaving or with receiving?  I would normally think receiving, yet this scripture stresses leaving as a pre-requisite for inheriting!!!!  It is such a sweet blessing as I am in this time in my life when the Lord is drawing me to leave and let go.

He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom he loved. Selah.
-Psalm 47:4

Selah ... think about this.  This verse really got me thinking about inheritances.  It is normally chosen by the parents and here it says that God shall choose it.  It also says that it is excellent!  There is no reason to fear God's choice.  Also, it is based on love.  That choice, and an excellent one for that matter, is based on love! 

Ask of Me, and I will give You The nations for Your inheritance, And the ends of the earth for Your possession.
-Psalm 2:8

In this context, it says that the nations rage against Jesus, that they take counsel against Him. With this inheritance also comes persecution. We need to count the cost and trust that the ultimate inheritance is eternal and not temporary. It takes us back to Matthew 19:29 ... leaving all to inherit eternal life ...

Yes, the verse in Psalm 2 is about Jesus, but do I want this to be my inheritance too?  Do I long for the same inheritance as our King?  Would I choose the same inheritance the Lord choses for me?  Do I want to touch lives for Jesus?  Do I want to see lives transformed?  If I want to, I must ask for it.   I want the character, the DNA, if you will, of Jesus and touch lives and receive the inheritance that He received!!!  Do you?  May the nations hear the gospel and become the inheritance of Jesus ... and ours too!!!!

Blessings beyond difficulty ... awesome time in Mexico!!!!!

"How is it possible to have such fun and enjoy myself so much while being so sick and injured?" ... this was my question while in Mexico.  My wise little sister replied: "Because you're in the middle of God's will".... This summarizes my time there.  I was blessed beyond measure and not without difficulty, but the presence of the Lord made it an unforgettable time!!!

Primary home in the Ranch where I stayed

What did I do?

Chelsea and I ... she is really my little sister!

While in Mexico, I was so blessed to be part of a ministry that reaches out to the surrounding communities with Bible Studies and meeting practical needs.  What a privilege to meet such amazing people and make new friends!  I also had the sweet blessing of being able to witness how the Lord uses my dear friend and sister Chelsea as part of this ministry.  It was a joy and in some ways it produced Godly jealousy.  I was challenged ... I have such a deep need to learn to love with God's love!!!!!  We had devotions together every morning, we went to Bible Studies, I had the privilege of sharing at a ladies study one day and leading at worship at another study another day.  I helped out (loosely using the term) at a children's Bible class.  We went shopping for a groceries distribution ministry ... I had so much fun with that!!!!  What a privilege to visit amd bless those in need and be hands and feet for the Lord to bless His body!!!

Osobampo - one of the nearby communities where there are Bible Studies

Ladies Bible Study at Osobampo where I was privileged to share

Preparing for worship at Tesia

Church at Tesia

Sunday Morning Church at Navojoa

Why was I sick?
Well, I must have picked something up on the flights down or at the hotel where I spent the night or something ... I got there with a sore throat and compounded with the dry dust in the air and everywhere, I ended up with a sinus infection.  Last time I went, I did too, so I am not surprised.  I didn't sleep much the first week, at first because it was a new place (as usual), then because of the sinus infection.  So, I became a clutz and I kept injuring myself!!  It was just laughable ... and we did laugh a lot!!!!!

Mourning with those that mourn and Rejoicing with those that rejoice
One very difficult time during the trip was when a young boy, 8 years old, went to be with the Lord.  He loved the Lord and was a sweet boy that I was able to meet while I was there.  He had been born with a heart defect and had one surgery that had been successful and had improved is quality of life such that he could walk and have a bit more energy.  As he went for his second surgery, we were all hopeful of great results.  It was completely unexpected, but he had complications and didn't make it more than a day after the surgery.  There was sorrow for the family and friends left behind as he rejoiced and went on to be with the Lord.  The cultural and also close knit family experience was priceless.  The gospel was shared during the burial and it is evident that the Lord has been glorified through the life and death of this boy.

Burial: Written in Spanish "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

As the family mourned and prepared for funeral, Chelsea and I got to babysit and have a blast with Aaliyah and Obed.

There are so many impressions and blessings that are hard to express, but I hope this gives a bit of an image.  I can't express why, but I find myself longing to go back, fellowship with the people, see the places.  It is unclear in my heart if the Lord will have me be there long term, but I do long to return and I am praying for the Lord's guidance for the future.

For my best pictures of the trip (I am still missing a couple more days), check out:
https://picasaweb.google.com/principlepassion/MexicoTripMayJune2011?authkey=Gv1sRgCIyPjJX_0f-y1wE&feat=directlink

What is Grace?

This is a question I have been mulling over for the past several weeks.  I am sure that it will take a lifetime to learn the answer.  I can answer it with "unmerited favor from God", but I feel like this answer is no more accurate and precise than answering "what is a derivative?" with "a mathematical formula", or "what is a car?" with "a machine to take me places".  I am barely scratching the surface and I don't really understand it. 

As I look at my life and what is going on, I feel myself asking the Lord as when Keilah (not quite 3) comes up to me and asks in her sweet high pitched voice "what'cha doooin?" followed by a myriad of "whyyyy?" to every statement after the first answer. 

The first attempt at selling the house fell through.  I had another potential buyer interested that appeared in what seemed to be a miraculous way, but it also fell through as he was dramatically low-balling me.  It has become so discouraging that I am not sure what I should do next.  Try another realtor?  Try for sale by owner and cragislist?  When to re-list?  I am going to Mexico in 6 days and I don't want people calling and emailing when I can't reply, so I had taken the for sale sign down.  I just got rear-ended in my car and didn't notice the damage so barely got info from the other driver and now I am needing to go to the chiropractor for my neck and back and I need to figure out what to do next regarding the damage I noticed later.

My closest friend and her husband have just 2 weeks ago moved to Bulgaria led by the Lord.  In many events leading up to their departure I could see the hand of the Lord in favor toward them and myself.  They had planned to leave the day before my birthday and as the day approached and I struggled with the timing of it, I felt the Lord speak to my heart saying "Can you believe I can make it special?".  We had unexpected changes of plans that resulted in us celebrating my birthday in NY City the day after their original departure date.  The Lord poured out grace upon grace as we dealt with unexpected events and a bonus birthday week for me of fellowship together to treasure as we are far away from each other!!!

Do I know what He is doing?  Do I understand grace?  Not really, not yet, not deeply.  I can honestly say that I don't know what the Lord is doing, but I am learning to trust in Him with my little understanding of Grace, believing and knowing that what He is doing is good ... that the outcome of what He is doing will be good ... that I can be hopeful and excited because He plans nothing but good!

New Trip Ahead ...13 days to Mexico!!!

I have done much praying and for a long time of fervently desiring to go see my little sister, Chelsea Rae, and several other brothers and sisters in Christ at Rancho Maranatha in Mexico.  I was blessed to have gone to visit over 7 years ago when Chelsea's entire family was serving there.  Since Chelsea has returned, I have been privileged to be involved in prayer and I have been longing to get involved in person.

I was blessed beyond measure to go to Haiti and I wouldn't trade it, but I knew that going then would mean that I couldn't go to Mexico just yet.  Even then, I was able to embrace the Lord's fully trusting that He would open the door in the future.  Well, now is that time!

On my way to PR (when I was going to Haiti) I was able to sign up for a special deal for airline miles and now I got a ticket practically free to take me into Mexico for the dates that I wanted!!!  This saves a lot of time on the bus and gets me closer to my final destination!  The ticket would normally cost about $900, so this is huge!  The cool thing is that shortly before I was able to get the tickets, I had a dream in which I was going to Mexico and after landing I was already past the border, which normally wouldn't be case if I were to take the bus from Tucson (12 hrs overnight), but it is true with this itinerary.

I will be flying into Hermosillo, Sonora, Mexico (A on map) and traveling by bus or car to the ranch (close to Alamos - B on map).  It is somewhat close to the gulf of California.  This is the map of where I will be:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=Hermosillo,+Sonora,+Mexico&daddr=%C3%81lamos,+Sonora,+Mexico&geocode=FaLduwEdTt1i-Snlrt96aITOhjH5f4jplVM9sw%3BFSxonAEdILWB-SkDsMcbBWe4hjHr3rvHKyQOXA&hl=en&mra=ls&sll=29.084977,-110.950928&sspn=8.194378,13.348389&ie=UTF8&ll=25.621716,-108.632812&spn=16.872222,26.696777&z=6

I leave for Mexico May 21 and arrive there May 22 a bit before noon.  I will be leaving Mexico June 5 and arriving in Rochester June 6 in the morning.

I long to see what the ministry is involved with and to refresh my brothers and sisters there.  It also appears that the Lord is opening the doors for a lot of once in a lifetime opportunities that I am very excited about, although I know that I will go from cool weather to extremely hot!  The Lord will help me through the adjustment.  I couldn't be more excited!!!!